About Sally
Sally Miller is a writer, meditation teacher and dating coach based in Bucks County, Pennsylvania.
Instead of perpetuating the toxic messages that make women feel insecure and unlovable, Sally mirrors back the beauty, value, and power in being your most authentic self. She supports women of all ages as they navigate the ups and downs of being single. Her work is informed by 20 years of deep personal practice in the embodied wisdom traditions of Ayurveda, Taoism, Tibetan Buddhism, Tantra and Classical Yoga.
She specializes in helping women establish self-care rituals to heal the body, mind and heart.
Sally is a yogini, mother, wife and firm believer in the power of quiet, introspective alone time. She has personally experienced the profound transformation that comes from slowing down, listening to the body, and honoring the wisdom of all our emotions.
My Story
Like many women, I used to think there was something wrong with me.
I thought I was too emotional, too sensitive and too needy.
I felt extremely insecure about dating and had no idea how to choose a healthy match for a reciprocal relationship.
I either chose super “safe” partners who I thought would never leave me or totally unavailable men.
My first marriage...
I got married for the first time when I was 34, despite my intuition telling me to say no.
I couldn’t handle the thought of disappointing him, so I said yes.
At that time, the people-pleaser in me was running the show. I didn’t have the skills or the support to listen to my gut and live the life I wanted to live.
It turns out my intuition was right and we weren’t a good match.
Sex with him wasn’t pleasurable. It was painful. I was deeply hurting.
Instead of telling him the extent of my pain, and assuming that he’d be open to figuring out how to make it better, I told myself “This is my issue. I’m too sensitive. He’s not doing
anything wrong.”
It was a really hard time in my life. I felt trapped and confused and alone.
Dating after marriage
Eventually I found the courage to leave my first marriage.
In the beginning, I was really excited to meet new people.
I was on all the apps.
I dated older people, younger people, people of different races, men and women, democrat and republican.
I dated 20 people in one year!
But no one was ever good enough. I came up with reason after reason to get back on the
apps and keep looking for someone better. I didn’t know how to accept that someone else might have needs. I wanted them to be at my beck and call at every moment and check all the boxes on my wishlist for a perfect partner.
I was so lonely and insecure. I thought being with someone else would fix me and make my deep loneliness go away. I continued chasing terribly unavailable people because I couldn’t handle being alone. The many failed attempts at finding Mr. or Mrs. Right were exhausting.
Intentional time alone…
After 2 years of searching unsuccessfully for a partner, I signed up for an online program with other women who were also struggling. Our facilitator encouraged us to intentionally choose to be single, and not date anyone, for three months. 3 whole months! I wasn’t sure I could do it.
What happened felt like nothing short of a miracle.
I finally started looking more deeply into my loneliness and insecurity. I had a huge breakthrough.
Through the combination of several game changing tools, including somatic meditation, I realized there’s nothing wrong with me at all.
I moved out of my head and discovered the self-love that exists in my body.
I befriended my sadness and longing and did various practices to heal my heart.
The intentional time alone, and the support of other women, helped me let go of a toxic relationship. Instead of running to another romantic relationship to avoid my uncomfortable feelings, I was able to turn toward my loneliness.
I felt the pleasure of simply being present and relaxed in my body. I enjoyed my own company and the company of my female friends. I stopped grasping at unavailable men.
Where I am now…
Then I met Bo, my now husband.
Was it that he checked all my boxes and was so much better than all the other people I dated?
Nope.
What changed was ME.
When I met him I was really embodied and comfortable in my own skin.
I’m now able to be with myself when I’m lonely, mad or scared - and not flee the relationship because I think there’s someone else out there who can make all my uncomfortable feelings go away.
I have the skills and the support to take care of my own heart.
I’m also able to speak up if something hurts me.
I know that I’m worthy of love.
I know deep in my bones that my sensitivity is a gift.
And I didn’t know that before.
How I can help you…
If you’ve been looking for a mentor who’s walked the path of embodied self love and found a way to survive heartbreak without shutting down completely, I would be honored to work with you.